The Power of a made up mind Part I, “Laying a foundation for Greatness” Bible Study 03/02/11

Posted on March 15, 2011 by growintheword

The Power of a made up mind Part I

Laying a foundation for Greatness

Synopsis of Bible Study 03/02/11

Delivered by Bishop Walker III

 

Greatness often times is understood by experience. Some people view greatness based on their exposure. You can think you are the greatest of all time in your own zip code until your travel the world and realize that there is something greater than you. Lots of times vision has to do with our perception of what greatness really is. What is important for us to understand is whatever season God is moving us into (which we believe he is moving us into a new season), it is very important not to bring the residue from past situations into the new season. It is critical right now that you are able to deal with the pain and the issues of the past, so that you do not taint this incredible season that God wants to move you into. There is a great thing that God is getting ready to do. Isaiah 42:9 says 9Behold, the former things are come to pass, and new things do I declare: before they spring forth I tell you of them.-God says there are some amazing things that are getting ready to happen, but he needs us to properly deal with those things in our past. They are over. Get ready, because God is going to tell you things before they happen. He is going to tell you what he is getting ready to do in your life.

I have to be ready to move forward into another season

  1. What does this mean? Philippians 3:13-14 says 13Brethren, I count not myself to have apprehended: but this one thing I do, forgetting those things which are behind, and reaching forth unto those things which are before, 14I press toward the mark for the prize of the high calling of God in Christ Jesus. – In this scripture, Paul is saying that he recognizes that you had a past, but he doesn’t want you to allow what has happened to you to influence the present to the point that it cripples what God is about to do in your life. God doesn’t want you to have amnesia and act like it never happened, but he wants you to recognize that you must properly deal with those issues of the past so that they don’t paralyze the promise of God over your life.
  2. Paul says you must reach forward to those things which are ahead. You got to stretch for it. What are we stretching for? It means we are pressing towards a goal.
  3. What is the goal? It is this thing that God has promised you. This is the thing that God has ahead of you. It is something God wants to do in your life. This is something that God wants to manifest.
  4. You are in a place, this place is not the goal, but you clearly understand the goal. Between you and the goal, there will always be resistance. As long as the goal is of God, the devil will cause resistance between you and the goal. Rather than getting upset, because of the resistance, you should thank God for the resistance, because the resistance would not come if the goal was not of God.
  5. Therefore Paul says what I want you to do is press towards the goal. Press is where we get the word pressure, which means the resistance is pressure aimed at resisting you and preventing you from getting to the goal. Now your pressure is greater than the resistance coming at you.
  6. Pressure: Now you have the goal, the resistance, and where you are. Many of us don’t deal well with pressure. We want to know why this is happening to us.

The power of pressure

  1. Press towards the goal. We have an amazing future. There is something God wants to do in our lives, so we are pressing towards this goal.
  2. We can’t press in our flesh. We must press in the spirit. 2 Corinthians 4:16 says 16For which cause we faint not; but though our outward man perish, yet the inward man is renewed day by day. – The outward man is the flesh and the inward man is the Spirit of God. What happens is, now that we have this goal, we must recognize that the attack or resistance is always on our flesh.
  3. What is between us and the goal is resistance that is getting at our flesh. There is no such thing as people who are going after a goal and don’t get frustrated in their flesh. No matter how deep you think you are, there are things that run your pressure up and gets on your nerves. This is the season where you ask the Lord what is going on, because it is getting at your flesh.
  4. What do we need to do? We have to recognize that we cannot get to the goal in our flesh. When our outward man perishes or is worn down, we must recognize the power of the Holy Spirit.
  5. The way to achieve the goal is through the Spirit of God. It is the Holy Spirit’s Ministry to push us towards the goal. Isaiah 43:18-19 says 18Remember ye not the former things, neither consider the things of old. 19Behold, I will do a new thing; now it shall spring forth; shall ye not know it? I will even make a way in the wilderness, and rivers in the desert. -The prophet says do not be influenced by what has been. You are making a shift from what has been to what shall be.
  6. Stop considering the systems and the way and methodologies of old. This is a new system now. It is a brand new season. God says behold, he is going to do a new thing in your life.
  7. When is this going to happen? It will happen now!
  8. How will it happen? It will spring forth!
  9. How do things spring forth? Things spring forth through resistance. You need resistance for something to spring. Ex- Remember the toy “The Jack –n- the box”? There was a little clown attached to a box that always had a little smile. Jack in the box is in the box and box represents confinement. Where is jack? He is in the box. This box represents confinement. There is no light in the box and the box is dark. What is jack doing in the box? He is smiling because his smile is not affected by the box or its conditions. He is in a confined situation in darkness and he can’t get out. There is a crank outside the box. Somebody outside the box cranks the box and they are putting pressure inside the box. Jack inside the box is receiving the pressure, but he is not complaining. He is still smiling, because he knows when the pressure gets to the right point, his now is going to come. When his now comes, Jack n the box is going to elevate out of the box. He is going to come out higher, because of the pressure applied to the box! So rather than complaining about the pressure you are going through, and rather than being upset because you are in a confined situation and you can’t see how you are going to come out, just thank God for the pressure. You ought to go on your job and look at the folk who is causing pressure in your life and say, “Thank you for the pressure”, because when your “now” comes, you will be elevated higher. It shall spring forth!
  10. God doesn’t want you to give him statistics. He doesn’t want you to give him things like no one is hiring or I am too late to apply. Verse 19 says he will make a road in the wilderness. God says stop telling him how many trees are in the way. When he gets ready to cut down  trees and make a road, he will do it. Stop telling God what you need (things like: “I don’t have the money to pay for it”), because he will bring water in a dry place. God will make a way when it seems there is no way!

We have to work on us

  1. Let go of your past. God has given us a clean slate, but we continually torture ourselves. 2 Corinthians 5:17 says 17Therefore if any man be in Christ, he is a new creature: old things are passed away; behold, all things are become new. – All things have become new.
  2. Stop beating yourselves up over things that you have repented for. Psalm 103:12 says 12As far as the east is from the west, so far hath he removed our transgressions from us. – God will forgive you. We dwell on the past and we are still dwelling on it. This is like are moving air through a dirty filter. Even though something new and fresh is coming through the filter, it still comes out dirty, because of the filth it has to flow through.
  3. Stop letting people make you feel guilty about your past. Romans 8:1says 1There is therefore now no condemnation to them which are in Christ Jesus, who walk not after the flesh, but after the Spirit. – We will do this after the spirit. We walk after the spirit. We are pursuing greatness. There is a goal, not in my flesh, but in the spirit. Ex- A hip-hop artist talked about his success once. They asked him how he obtained his success. They wanted to know what made him different from anyone else. He responded by saying that he was hungry for it. This is important to know, because you must be hungry for it.
  4. You must have a hunger and thirst for it. What separates you from mediocrity is being hungry for it. You live it and it is a part of who you are.
  5. The goal in which we pursue, we do so in our spirit and not our flesh. Matthew 5:6 says 6Blessed are they which do hunger and thirst after righteousness: for they shall be filled. -This means I walk in integrity towards the goal. If we walk in integrity, this means we are walking right or walking justly towards the goal. If we walk fleshly, we are willing to cut deals and do anything to get there. If we walk righteously before God, then he is glorified in the process.
    1. When you are hungry, you are self motivated. There are 2 kinds of people that get up in the morning. They are those who get up and those who rollover. Those who rollover are people that have nothing to get up for. They are not aimed at anything.
  6. Your flesh is always telling you to hit the snooze button on things. Your flesh wants you to do things like skip class or to take off from work. It is not pushing you to a goal. The spirit on the other hand is always pushing you. You are self motivated.
  7. When you are hungry, you always know because you are always around people who are hungry. Ex – Ever been out to eat with someone in the natural and they didn’t eat? Wasn’t it awkward? You order and they don’t and you want to know why they are even there. It is awkward eating around people who aren’t hungry and don’t eat. In the spirit it is awkward being around people who ain’t hungry too. You got a passion and you around people that don’t have the same hunger or thirst. We get frustrated because we are around people who are not hungry, because they don’t understand our passion and they are not after what we are after.
  8. How does this work? Purpose gives birth to passion. Once you have a purpose you are passionate about that purpose. If there isn’t any passion, you won’t have purpose. Passion causes us to make preparation. If we are passionate about it, we want to prepare and get sharper at it. The moment we start making an investment in it, make preparations, and get passionate about it, then the devil gets the memo and he starts making preparations for our life. This is when the headaches come, but because we are spiritual, we don’t respond in our flesh. Instead we respond in our spirit. Therefore, we have the proper perspective. Now we see the goal and not the drama. We see where we are going and we recognize that this resistance is all necessary. As a result of our perspective, we prevail and the fruit of us prevailing is that we are always productive.
  9. Now let’s recap. We have purpose that spawns passion which causes me to prepare. We have problems, but we have proper perspective. We prevail and consequently, we are productive.
  10. Isn’t it amazing that most of your haters hate your productivity. Ex- Bishop explains that there are people that have never met him, never had one conversation with him, but they hate on him because of his productivity. You walk into a room and people just start hating on you. They hate on you because you have a degree. They have no idea that before you got productive, you had to prevail over some problems. Bishop explains that if they only knew the problems he went through, the times he didn’t know where his next meal was coming from, or the times he was up at night while they were out kicking it, they would think differently. Passion made Bishop step out when folk thought he was crazy, because God had shown him something. Don’t hate on our productivity if you do not know our purpose, our passion, our preparation, our problem, our perspective, and how we prevailed. The problem is you tried to mimic our productivity by taking the elevator when we took the stairs. You can’t get this by taking the elevator. You have to get this by the stairs.
  11. There are some things we need to do in order to work on ourselves
    1. Don’t be attached to your identity. Psalm 51:10 says 10Create in me a clean heart, O God; and renew a right spirit within me.-God will continually change your identity, the more you are conformed to his image. Ex- Bishop explains that when our church was growing, and we moved to the World Baptist Center, and people thought we were going to be swallowed up in it. We only had 3000 members and people just thought we would be swallowed up. Bishop says to the Lord, “You are doing it for a little preacher like me” and the Lord said to him “You are insignificant to the process.” Once you understand the process, you will stop wrapping your identity around what he is doing. At the end of the day, he will do it without you if need be. This is why he says less of us and more of him. He wants you to decrease, so that he may increase. Realize that we are just a conduit by which God uses, because we made ourselves available. One challenge of churches all around the world that grow like this one has is trying to get members of these kind of churches to not be personality driven. In other words, people can come to bible study, even if Bishop Walker is not preaching. People attach greatness to identity. It is not about the Pastor, it is about what God is doing in a house. There is such anointing in this house that whoever God puts up here to preach, you will get an anointed breakthrough every time.
    2. Ask what the Lord wants from you

i.    It takes a restored vision.

ii.    It requires strength. There is no way you will accomplish this without strength. Just because you are spiritual, doesn’t’ mean you don’t get tired. Isaiah 40:31says 31But they that wait upon the LORD shall renew their strength; they shall mount up with wings as eagles; they shall run, and not be weary; and they shall walk, and not faint. Ex- Have you paid attention to an eagle. Why does God use the eagle to tell us to be like?

1.     Eagles fly alone. They are not like turkeys or chickens that flock together. They fly alone. You will never reach the level of greatness that God is getting ready to take you to until you get comfortable navigating in seasons by yourself. The higher God takes you, the thinner the air is going to be and the fewer people you will have in your inner circle. Jesus started with 12 disciples, but when he came into his glory, most of them fled. So if you are a person who needs a crowd and needs people to validate you all of the time or if you are a person who needs somebody to stroke you all the time and tell you it’s going to be alright, you going to be right here! If you are the person that says I can fly alone and I don’t need constant affirmation, because I know who I am, you are an eagle.

2.     Eagles stir their nest. Mother eagle builds her nest high up in the tree and she puts twigs in it that are sticky. At a certain season called “Now”, she comes in and spreads her wings in the nest to trouble the eaglets. It almost looks sad to see. The eaglets way up in the top of this tree has never flown before, but mother eagle knows that in order for the eaglets to have long survival, they must learn to fly. She made the nest uncomfortable so that they could never become comfortable in certain spots. When they try to get comfortable, they would be stuck. When the time is right, the mother eagle flutters her wings and she pushes the baby eagles out of the nest. They then have two options. They are to fly or die. This is what God does at a certain season in our life. He says if he allows us to stay in this comfort zone, we will die anyway, because we won’t be able to take care of ourselves. We will go through life waiting on momma (in this case God) to come and feed us. You an eagle and God says like the momma eagle, he has to get us out of this nest (our place of comfort) and between the top of the tree and the ground, you will figure out how to fly. There are some of you that figured it out just before you hit the bottom!

3.     Eagles fly towards storms. Unlike other birds, mother eagle does not run for cover when a storm comes. She looks for the storm and then she takes flight towards the storm. Why is she flying towards the storm? When she takes off, she is flying into pressure. Where there are storms, there is pressure in the atmosphere. When she flies into the storm, it is the same aerodynamic principle that an airplane uses to take off on a runway. The plane is designed to fly into oncoming wind. When you stick your hand out the door of a moving car, watch what your hand does. When the wind catches it, the wind makes it go up. There is an elevation that goes on when you fly into the wind. The eagle knows that if she flies into the wind (pressure), then her wings will automatically elevate her and she will have strength to get elevation. The pressure will make her go higher and higher. This is what we who are like real eagles do. When we wait on the Lord, we know we shall be renewed. God says he will put enough pressure in our life to see if we will run like a turkey or chicken or will we embrace the storm and be stronger after we have gone through it. For many of us, we would testify that we wouldn’t pray like we do, if we hadn’t been through so many storms. We wouldn’t be reading this or going to bible study in the middle of the week if it wasn’t for the storms in our lives.

4 ways to get greatness

  1. Rely on Holy Spirit to help you and to keep you. Colossians 1:29 says 29Whereunto I also labour, striving according to his working, which worketh in me mightily.- Mighty here means miraculous power or miracle itself. What is inside you that is at work is this miraculous power. It is a miracle that some of you have been able to endure some of the things that you have endured to get to goal. It is a miracle that some of you are still here today after all you have been through. It is the miracle of the Holy Spirit working inside of you. Romans 8:11 says 11But if the Spirit of him that raised up Jesus from the dead dwell in you, he that raised up Christ from the dead shall also quicken your mortal bodies by his Spirit that dwelleth in you.
  2. Must build on past successes and learn from past failures- Failures are only temporary test to prepare you for permanent trials. Philippians 3:16 says 16Nevertheless, whereto we have already attained, let us walk by the same rule, let us mind the same thing.- People of God, everybody has failed at something. It is how you deal with failure that determines how you get motivated. Are you motivated by your failure? Does failure send you into the abyss and cause you to say I will never try it again or are you motivated by your failure? It is said that a successful person fails every 2 out of 5 times. It says an unsuccessful person fails 3 out of 5 times. What is the difference?
  3. Think of the goal as a target. Find how you missed mark. Think of a goal is a target. The bull’s-eye is the area with the most points is in the middle of the target. It is 100points. You aim at the 100, but sometimes you may hit 80 or 20. If you don’t aim for 100, you will hit 0 every time. Every time you get up, you ought to be aiming at a 100. Never allow yourself to think you are only worth the 20. Even in relationships, aim for 100%. You are worth 100. If you don’t aim for the 100, you may end up with 0.
  4. Set new goals. Proverbs 29:18 says 18Where there is no vision, the people perish: but he that keepeth the law, happy is he. – What is vision? Have you ever had something revealed to you in the spirit and you felt that nobody around you would understand it? How many of you reading this think that telling this would make people around you think that you were crazy? Ever saw something in the spirit and didn’t have the money for it.? All of this is vision. Keep believing it and seeing it.

When you see vision and set goals:

    1. Make a list of the areas you want victory in.
    2. Make a list of every area you want to be diligent in.
    3. Make list of new areas and experiences you want to come into. Greatness is about exposure. You have to see and be exposed to more.
    4. Make a list of new areas that you want to recommit yourselves to. There are things that we have to recommit to or commit to, in order to get better.
    5. Make a list of what God wants to do in your family. Whatever God wants to do, is going to require you to think about family. Whatever you are going to do, think about how God wants this to relate to your family.
  1. Become accountable to someone in the area you are looking for change and newness. That is a big way of saying, get a mentor. Have somebody in your life that you can tell you the truth. This is a prayerful thing. It is a relationship. You don’t need to pick somebody that you won’t listen to. Ex- 5 people go out and at least one has on something on that they shouldn’t have on. At least one of the other folk should have said something in a loving way to this person. We need a mentor, not someone that will cosign our foolishness. Philemon 1:6 says 6That the communication of thy faith may become effectual by the acknowledging of every good thing which is in you in Christ Jesus. – You need somebody to share your faith and struggles with.
  2. Expect the Holy Spirit to bring forth new beginnings. Expect greatness to happen.
  3. Must have confidence. Philippians 1:6 says 6Being confident of this very thing, that he which hath begun a good work in you will perform it until the day of Jesus Christ: -We are not walking around with low self esteem and our head down thinking that we don’t know anybody. We know we have been shown something called a goal. We are confident. You can call it arrogance if you want to. We speak to people and we are very nice, but we are just confident. You need to learn how to walk in your godly confidence. Don’t allow people to dictate to you how you feel. You have to say that you are confident of this one thing. Know that God is working something in your life. God is working and it will happen in your life.

You got to go through 3 seasons

  1. Season of development- Everything that happened in your life, is development. God says he has to work on you. It is about training. Stop despising it and just go through it. Some people ask for prayer in their situation, but sometimes God don’t want you delivered from what he is developing you in. Embrace the development.
  2. Season of disclosure-That’s when God shows it to you. He can show it to you if you are not mentally and spiritually in a place to receive it. If he shows you something great, you will reject it. Once you’ve been developed, he can show you this great thing. When he shows it to you, it gets on you. When it gets on you, others see it on you. That’s when they start saying; there is something different about you. They know you are not like everybody. When it’s on you, it’s on you. Even the devil knows it’s on you. God can’t show it to you unless you are mentally and spiritually in a place to receive it.
  3. Season of delivery- Now it is about to jump off or spring forth. It is about to happen. This thing is about to manifest in your life. People that are in development don’t hate on people that are in the season of disclosure. Your season is coming. Just hang in there!

There are some of you that God is about to deliver it on right now. You have been developed and seeing it so long, it’s got to happen any day now. You got to get ready, because it is so awesome, but it won’t happen until you discover the power of laying a foundation for greatness. It is about your mind being right to receive it. It is not about you, but it is about him.

Prayer

Lord thank you for showing me that thing you put before me. When I get out the bed in the morning, I am getting out of the bed fresh and new.

Please know that it is a brand new day and know that there is greatness on you.

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How do you know? Part IV, “How do you know what marriage is and is not?” – Bible Study 2/23/11

Posted on March 15, 2011 by growintheword

How do you know? Part IV

How do you know what marriage is and is not?

Synopsis of Bible Study 2/23/11

Delivered by Bishop Walker III

 

Many people who want to get married. You discover early on that there are many marriages that are unsuccessful. One reason is because many people go in to marriage for all the wrong reasons. When we think of marriage, we have this idea of a happy family, it is important to know what marriage is, some of the myths surrounding marriage, and how to strengthen it.

 

I.                   Biblical perspective of marriage

1.     In the beginning, God made man male and female Genesis 1:27 says 27So God created man in his own image, in the image of God created he him; male and female created he them. – When God made man, he spoke to both of Adam and Eve alike. He spoke word to them together.

2.     God has to prepare you. Genesis 2:18 says 18And the LORD God said, It is not good that the man should be alone; I will make him an help meet for him.- Why is this important? God has to make you or prepare you for the vessel you will be with (your mate). God is working on both of you (your prepared vessel) at the same time, until you are ready for each other, then he will create a situation to bring you together. Ex-Some women have been known to say, “He is a good guy; He needs a chance.” This idea makes you become practice material. You must realize that you can’t be practice material.

3.     They become one family. Genesis 2:24 says 24Therefore shall a man leave his father and his mother, and shall cleave unto his wife: and they shall be one flesh. -You see God’s intent is when these prepared two come together, they are not influenced by other family members. They become one family (separate from the family they came from).

4.      God’s intent was never for a woman to advertise herself. Proverbs 31:10-31 says 10Who can find a virtuous woman? for her price is far above rubies. 11The heart of her husband doth safely trust in her, so that he shall have no need of spoil.  12She will do him good and not evil all the days of her life. 13She seeketh wool, and flax, and worketh willingly with her hands. 14She is like the merchants’ ships; she bringeth her food from afar. 15She riseth also while it is yet night, and giveth meat to her household, and a portion to her maidens. 16She considereth a field, and buyeth it: with the fruit of her hands she planteth a vineyard. 17She girdeth her loins with strength, and strengtheneth her arms. 18She perceiveth that her merchandise is good: her candle goeth not out by night. 19She layeth her hands to the spindle, and her hands hold the distaff. 20She stretcheth out her hand to the poor; yea, she reacheth forth her hands to the needy. 21She is not afraid of the snow for her household: for all her household are clothed with scarlet. 22She maketh herself coverings of tapestry; her clothing is silk and purple. 23Her husband is known in the gates, when he sitteth among the elders of the land. 24She maketh fine linen, and selleth it; and delivereth girdles unto the merchant.25Strength and honour are her clothing; and she shall rejoice in time to come. 26She openeth her mouth with wisdom; and in her tongue is the law of kindness. 27She looketh well to the ways of her household, and eateth not the bread of idleness. 28Her children arise up, and call her blessed; her husband also, and he praiseth her. 29Many daughters have done virtuously, but thou excellest them all. 30Favour is deceitful, and beauty is vain: but a woman that feareth the LORD, she shall be praised. 31Give her of the fruit of her hands; and let her own works praise her in the gates.

5.     It was never God’s intent for the woman to advertise. She was supposed to be a hidden treasure that is found, much like a diamond found in the dirt of the earth. If you too easy to get, you will never be appreciated or valued. Note: When you get a chance read Songs of Solomon.

6.     Marriage is a covenant. Malachi 2:14 says 14Yet ye say, Wherefore? Because the LORD hath been witness between thee and the wife of thy youth, against whom thou hast dealt treacherously: yet is she thy companion, and the wife of thy covenant. –A covenant, if you will remember, is an agreement. When marriage comes together, man must see his wife as a covenant. In other words, we ride or die!

7.      God hates divorce. Malachi 2:16 says 16For the LORD, the God of Israel, saith that he hateth putting away: for one covereth violence with his garment, saith the LORD of hosts: therefore take heed to your spirit, that ye deal not treacherously. Matthew 19:6 says 6Wherefore they are no more twain, but one flesh. What therefore God hath joined together, let not man put asunder.

8.      God instructs husbands to love their wives as God loves the church.- Ephesians 5:25 says 25Husbands, love your wives, even as Christ also loved the church, and gave himself for it; – Husbands ought to love their wives in the same manner as Christ loved the church. By this we mean he (the husband) ought to have so much love for his wife that he is willing to sacrifice for her just as Christ sacrificed for the church.

II.                The Foundation of marriage

1.     God created mankind (male and female), and later divided humanity into two sexes, male and female. Individually you have to see how that impacts the relationship.

2. Somebody has to be called to be with us. When we think about how we can be, we have to realize that there is a special anointing on the life of the individual that God chooses to be with us.

3.     It is important to understand that the woman was meant to be a compliment to the man. Genesis 2:18 says 18And the LORD God said, It is not good that the man should be alone; I will make him an help meet for him.- God wanted Adam to have a compliment. Eve became Adam’s compliment. In other words, when God made Eve for Adam, it was a perfect match.

4.     Marriage is a relational union of one male and one female joined as husband and wife. – No matter what local laws say, according to God’s law, marriage is the union of two persons (male and female) in a unit of one marriage.

5.     We come into a relationship sometimes with different ideas of what marriage is. You might be with somebody that comes from a different upbringing and culture. Ex- Bishop Walker explains that he is from Louisiana for example. At the zoo there, they talk about how different animals can be prepared as a meal. Here in Tennessee, we look an animals in a zoo and wonder what the animals habitat is. In the south everything is about food. Ex2- If a person comes from the North, they may not be in a habit of speaking to everyone that they pass. Down here in the South, everyone speaks when they pass each other. If you don’t know God’s idea of marriage, you will impose the expectations that you have about marriage, into your marriage. You have to decide what your marriage will be like.

6.      Marriage is a covenant-ally agreed arrangement of functional oneness. Everything we do, we see ourselves as one unit. No longer do we see ourselves as individuals. Malachi 2:14 says 14Yet ye say, Wherefore? Because the LORD hath been witness between thee and the wife of thy youth, against whom thou hast dealt treacherously: yet is she thy companion, and the wife of thy covenant.

7. Marriage is a symbiotic relationship. This means it is a mutually beneficial relationship of life and not just a relationship of authoritarian position. Marriage ought to be a mutually beneficial unit. It is not about authority and position. I get something out of it and my mate gets something out of it. Know that you have a right to expect what you are willing to give.

8.     The way God sees us in Christ is that the male and female are equal before him. Galatians 3:28 says 28There is neither Jew nor Greek, there is neither bond nor free, there is neither male nor female: for ye are all one in Christ Jesus. –  God made both male and female alike in the beginning.

9.     Each gender has distinct differences. How many of you have discovered that there are many differences between male and female? Men don’t communicate well for example. We are wired to be visual. A woman, however, needs to talk. Intimacy is an all day thing for a woman. A man’s idea of intimacy is right now! Man has one goal in mind when it comes to intimacy. When he leaves Egypt, he is trying to get to the Promised Land. The woman on the other hand can stay in the wilderness forever.

10.  Women are emotional. Men want to know why women are so emotional. This is just how women are wired.

11. Learn to accept the mutual differences. We can’t compete with other in a marriage. This causes unhealthy marriage. We come in as to complete people that will not compete with each other for completion.

III.             Different ways marriage is viewed

1.     What we call religious legalism-Legalism is people that follow the course of law to the letter. They follow the rules of role of responsibility and hope that things will work out right. There is no room for swaying from this train of thought.

2.     Self-effort- performance “. Just do it! – The husband is ahead of the wife, but there has been over emphasized. The husband still values the opinion of his wife. Also, if a woman is working 60hrs a week and he is not, there might be an adjustment in roles in the house.

3.     Culture views cause you to develop your inherent personhood- The belief that you just be who you are and everything will work out. Ex- Bishop explains that he was watching the reality show, “Atlanta Housewives” and he saw where a woman says she was going to get married and just see how it works out. This is crazy! Culture has tried to teach us to go by what we feel.

4.     Culture over emphasizes equality. Galatians 3:28 says 28There is neither Jew nor Greek, there is neither bond nor free, there is neither male nor female: for ye are all one in Christ Jesus.- Between man and female, God sees us as one in a marriage. The biggest challenge for a powerful woman is allowing a godly man to lead them. When you have been in control, and accomplished what you have on your job, it is difficult to put that in a spiritual context and allow a man to lead you. When you operate in that authority and power, it can mess you up.

5.     What is the functional role of the husband? Jesus has the model for the husband. Ephesians 5:23 says 23For the husband is the head of the wife, even as Christ is the head of the church: and he is the saviour of the body. Ephesians 5:25 says 25Husbands, love your wives, even as Christ also loved the church, and gave himself for it;- A husband must love his wife in such a way, his life is lived to seek her highest good. We will not suppress her vision or oppress her dreams. We will not speak negative of what God speaks into her life. It is self denial or the giving up of something. Colossians 3:19 says 19Husbands, love your wives, and be not bitter against them.- Everything that God is going to do in the life of a man, can only happen if he brings the woman with him. Ex – Abraham took his wife with him to the place that God

6.     When you love God, you provide for your wife. 1 John 4:8 says 8He that loveth not knoweth not God; for God is love. – Because God is love, God’s love is giving. He gave us his son for us. It should be instinctive for a godly man to be a provider. Any man that wants a woman to take care of him, has something spiritual wrong with him.

7.     The husband provides directions and purpose for the relationship. He allows the woman to feel special, praises her, and feels here with joy. Proverbs 31:28 says 28Her children arise up, and call her blessed; her husband also, and he praiseth her. – Any man who God gives a wife too, ought to praise her daily. He should sense when her esteem is low. You got to keep affirming this to her. Verbal abuse is just as bad as physical abuse.

8.     Wives- Your response should be one modeled after Christ. Your response to your husband should be biblical. You can have all that you want to have and still submit to your husband. You have to support and encourage your husband. Men have big egos. It is nothing better than telling your man that you appreciate him holding it down. There are men that are attending a bible study every week, but they get lumped into the category of “Men don’t go to church” along with other men.

9.     Learn adaptability- One of the things wives need to learn is desirability. You have to learn what you husband desires and get a Masters Degree in it.

 

Dysfunctions of marriage:

How many of know marriages do you know that are dysfunctional? This leads to divorce which comes from the Latin word Divodium which means devert oro Here are some dysfunctions:

1.     Role regulations- They don’t function in their roles properly.

2.     Cultural differences – We have different believes as a result of our upbringing.

3.     Gender differences – We have allowed our gender views to affect our relationship.

4.     Vet-This means to integrate rigorously. You got to be sure of a person before conviction. You can’t move to that next level purely on emotion. There has to be a reason tied to your emotions. How many of you been in love more than once? You thought that was it. It is important to vet people. Look at every aspect of a person’s life.

5.      Selfishness-People come into relationship thinking about themselves. You got to come to a place of oneness. If God is in you and your spouse, then the character of God ought to come out. His word ought to be your primary reference, it ultimately leads to divorce.

6.     Divorce comes from the Latin word which means divert or go to the opposite direction. Malachi 2:16 says 16For the LORD, the God of Israel, saith that he hateth putting away: for one covereth violence with his garment, saith the LORD of hosts: therefore take heed to your spirit, that ye deal not treacherously. – God hates divorce. You ought to go into marriage so confident that you will divorce proof this marriage. In your marriage, you should have the same faith you would have fighting for your life.

7.     Marriage can only function through the grace of God. God’s grace is what makes people stay married for 50 and 60 yrs. God’s grace is received by faith.

8.     Our spouses ought to look like Christ. Remember God created man in his own image. If God made man and woman in his image, then what was the image we had in mind when we thought about marrying this person?

9.     Those who are married, what does that image look like now. If it doesn’t look like what you imagined, then you are a victim of expectations not met, and then Satan keeps providing images behind the curtain for you. If we clearly understand that we are created after the image of God, we know that when God blew into us, we became living. God is in all of us through his Holy Spirit. God was above us in Old Testament, and then he was with us, now he is in us.

IV.              7 things that determine if you are ready to be married:

1.     Are you a selfish individual? Is all about you?

2.     Are you ready for lifetime a commitment? Think about it, “Till death do you part”. When you feel prepared of God, you can get married. Just remember though, the younger you are, the longer forever is. How many of you can testify that you are different now (your goals, your outlook, and your interests) than they were 10 yrs ago?

3.     Are family and friends more important than your spouse? Ex- “I know it’s your birthday honey, but it is mom’s birthday too.”

4.     Are you and your future spouse on the same page (Spiritually, Financially, and etc…)? Are you reading the same book?

5.     What are your real motives for wanting to get married? Is it because you think your time clock ticking? Are you tired of being bride’s maid? Is it social pressure? Most guys grew up playing with GI Joe. Women grew up playing with Barbie and playing house. The made most women grow up with the idea of marriage and homemaking in mind. Most men were still immature in this area. Got to ask yourself what is your real motivation?

6.     If you are not viewing marriage as a fantasy, then you are ready. Some people will spending $20,000 to get married and won’t spend $2.00 for a book about how to stay married.

7.     Are you whole? Are you a whole person? You have to understand that God has great plans in store for your life. God brought together one man and one woman in garden. We saw how Satan comes in to disrupt it (in the garden). Through Jesus who came to redeem us back to God, it is about being Christ centered. In your relationship, dating doesn’t have a destination. Courting has a destination. When you are serious about somebody, you have the right to ask the serious questions trying to end up with the marriage that God desires for us.

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How do you know Part 3, “How do you know he or she is the right one?” , Bible Study 2.13.11

Posted on February 22, 2011 by growintheword

How do you know? Part 3

How do you know he or she is the right one?

 

Synopsis of Bible Study 2.13.11

Delivered by Bishop Walker III

 

First of all, let’s just start by saying this; if you are married and you don’t feel that person is the right one, we are just sorry. If you are single you don’t know how blessed you are. Some folks would say if they knew then what they know now; they would have gone another way. It is important to know that what God does in relationships is intentional. One thing that really stands out is what God did in the very first relationship, Adam & Eve. God said it is not good for the man to be alone. This however was a certain type of man. Now Adam had been given a job and God had set him up in the garden with everything he could ever need. Adam was in such a place that God said it was not good for this type of person to be alone. This type of person is ready for relationship. Every relationship that comes together is for a greater purpose. It is about the fruit that a relationship will produce. This is why you have to be with people connected to God. Without him, there with will be no fruit produced.

I.            Must have a relationship with God

1.     There are people that desire a relationship with you, yet they don’t have a relationship with God. This ought to make you wonder what their motives are.

Evidence that a person has a relationship with God:

a.     Must be in Covenant – Corinthians 6:14 says 14Be ye not unequally yoked together with unbelievers: for what fellowship hath righteousness with unrighteousness? and what communion hath light with darkness? – A relationship with the Lord Jesus Christ is always validated by covenant. As a result, a person with a relationship with God will not fall into relationship with a person that doesn’t have a walk with God. Don’t have that Messianic complex which is the idea of going into relationship thinking you were sent to save them. This is unhealthy; because the bible says don’t hook up with people that are not equally yoked with where you are. They must have a covenant relationship with God.

b. Must have Character – John 8:31-32 says 31Then said Jesus to those Jews which believed on him, If ye continue in my word, then are ye my disciples indeed; -You can’t connect with anybody who is not free. The issue is, if they have God’s word inside them, it is true and it liberates. We need to see what kind of character a person has before we leap. Ex – Who would walk into a prison just to be with a person they liked. All of us have issues, but God’s word liberates us and sets us free. Even though we still have issues, because we are working out our salvation, we are at least in the process of becoming free. This means we need to unite with people who are free. We are not permanent prisoners of our issues.

c.     They have Commitment – What are you willing to commit to? How can a person commit to you if they can’t commit to God? Their first commitment has to be with God. Hebrews 10:25 says 25Not forsaking the assembling of ourselves together, as the manner of some is; but exhorting one another: and so much the more, as ye see the day approaching. – When I am committed, I come to church as it says in this scripture. I don’t care how you cut it, you will love coming to church when you are in a committed relationship with God. Ex- How can you be in a relationship with a person and want to stay at their house for 5hrs at a time and say you are in relationship with God and not want to stay at his house for 1hr? When you are in relationship with God, you want to be at his house (the church). If you got to force a person to come to church, that ought to be a red flag for you. If you are not under the same word then you won’t be equally yoked. This being unequally yoked means that you will speak different languages. Like Luke 9:23 says, 23And he said to them all, If any man will come after me, let him deny himself, and take up his cross daily, and follow me. – In other words, we can’t follow anyone who does not follow Christ. Did you know Jesus was the first person to have a Twitter account? The scripture says that Jesus told them to “Follow him” (Note: You might not get this if you don’t know anything about Twitter).

2.     Now just to recap, we discussed that one way to know that a person is the right one is that they must have a relationship with God and this will be evident, because they have a covenant with God, they have character, and they have commitment. Now let’s discuss what they must have next.

II.            They are goal oriented

1.     We need somebody aimed towards something. They must have goals. In other words, their life is centered on destiny.

2.     We are after somebody who has vision. –Proverbs 29:18 18Where there is no vision, the people perish: but he that keepeth the law, happy is he. – These type of people see beyond their right now. They see themselves debt free and they see themselves graduating. Imagine seeing all this and being with somebody that doesn’t have any vision. They would never see beyond their reality. This is why God gave us two eyes, two ears, and one mouth. This is so we wouldn’t talk so much, but instead listen and see more. The issue is, God gave us two eyes. This is called anthropomorphic grace in seminary. When you come to together, you represent one eye and your mate represents another eye. When you come together with vision, this is 20/20 vision meaning we see together.  We don’t have to see the same thing, but we ought to see something. Your visions might not be the same as mines, but they ought to line up. Imagine if one person is speaking life and another is speaking death. Ex- What are you going to do in the next 2 yrs is a question we ought to ask? In other words, the person we are in relationship with needs to be able to see beyond their right now. Because they see beyond right now, this vision ought to make you work.

3.      Must be willing to work–2 Thessalonians 3:10 says 10For even when we were with you, this we commanded you, that if any would not work, neither should he eat. – Vision in other words makes me work. You can’t have vision and not be willing to work. We need someone who has vision and knows the value of work. This is an issue of integrity. It is saying that should I lose my end, even if I have to work a job beneath me, I will work and work to make things happen. Ex- Bishop Walker explains that one reason he thinks he has a good work ethic is because there was never a day in his life that he didn’t see his Dad work. Bishop explains that his day is over 80yrs old and he just recently bought him a new truck so that he could have a reliable way to go to work. Now at 80yrs old, he is still willing to work.

4.     Not intimidated by your success – Genesis 1:28 says 28And God blessed them, and God said unto them, Be fruitful, and multiply, and replenish the earth, and subdue it: and have dominion over the fish of the sea, and over the fowl of the air, and over every living thing that moveth upon the earth. –This scripture opens up by saying, “He blessed them…” It existed on both Adam and Eve without intimidation of how it would affect either one. Ex- Bishop explains that he gets many questions, tweets, email, and etc… from around the world. He says one of the number one questions he gets is; why are men intimidated by a strong woman? Bishop explains that it is not about the woman’s strength. It is about the man’s weakness. Never allow yourself to feel guilty about being successful. If they are intimidated by your success it is about their insecurities.

a. It is really about self control. Often some men want to be put in a situation where they have do things for you. People that are insecure often use this to control you. People who are insecure want to be able to take stuff and make you think you can’t make it without them. Ex-Ever seen the movie “Color Purple”? Remember the scene where Celie had decided to leave. In the movie Mister told Celie “What you going to do? You poor, you ugly, you a woman… “Mister could only give Celie money. She had to depend on him for everything she needed. If you go into a relationship without your own stuff, you are backing into a controlling situation. 90% of people who walk and stay into abuse, is because they don’t have anywhere to go. Imagine now if you understood that your success would draw success. Your success should be so magnetic; you draw like people to yourself. When they go into a relationship without anything, you allow yourself to be controlled. A good way to know that a person is not intimidated by your success is to see if they can celebrate your success even though it does not involve them. They know that who you are doesn’t diminish who they are. They are willing to allow you to be the cup and they be the saucer, because they know that the saucer gets the overflow.

5.     They have financial integrity -Hard times come to everybody. If you don’t have but a $1.50, you ought to still have a budget for it.

How does this financial integrity play out?

a.     They must be a Tither-In your house, a person who is a tither causes your house to be covered. Malachi 3:7-9 says 7Even from the days of your fathers ye are gone away from mine ordinances, and have not kept them. Return unto me, and I will return unto you, saith the LORD of hosts. But ye said, Wherein shall we return? 8Will a man rob God? Yet ye have robbed me. But ye say, Wherein have we robbed thee? In tithes and offerings. -Who wants to go into a house that is set up to be cursed? Malachi 3:10-11 says 10Bring ye all the tithes into the storehouse, that there may be meat in mine house, and prove me now herewith, saith the LORD of hosts, if I will not open you the windows of heaven, and pour you out a blessing, that there shall not be room enough to receive it. 11And I will rebuke the devourer for your sakes, and he shall not destroy the fruits of your ground; neither shall your vine cast her fruit before the time in the field, saith the LORD of hosts.- In a tithing house hold, God covers you and keeps the enemy from your money. Ex- If you don’t tithe, sometimes your air conditioner will mysteriously break down. God will orchestrate it so that the company that fixes your air conditioner is owned by a tither, so in other words, God still gets the money that you were supposed to tithe.

b.      Must be a seed sower – When you are dealing with finances, you don’t want anyone who questions what you give in offerings. Luke 6:38 says 38Give, and it shall be given unto you; good measure, pressed down, and shaken together, and running over, shall men give into your bosom. For with the same measure that ye mete withal it shall be measured to you again. –You will benefit from the seeds you have sown.

c.     Must pay their bills. – Romans 13:8 says 8Owe no man any thing, but to love one another: for he that loveth another hath fulfilled the law. – You don’t want to go on a date and come back out of the restaurant to find that your car is gone. You must pay your bills. At least you can pay a little on it if you can’t pay it all.

d.     Must be willing to invest – We have to learn to put stuff back for a rainy day. Proverbs 6:6-11 says 6Go to the ant, thou sluggard; consider her ways, and be wise: 7Which having no guide, overseer, or ruler, 8Provideth her meat in the summer, and gathereth her food in the harvest. 9How long wilt thou sleep, O sluggard? when wilt thou arise out of thy sleep? 10Yet a little sleep, a little slumber, a little folding of the hands to sleep: 11So shall thy poverty come as one that travelleth, and thy want as an armed man. – The ant stores up; because he knows that the seasons will change. You have to ask yourself, does this person live out of their front pocket or out of their bosom?

e.     Must leave an Inheritance– Vision always out lives you. Everything you do in this next scripture, should outlive you. Proverbs 13:22 says22A good man leaveth an inheritance to his children’s children: and the wealth of the sinner is laid up for the just. – We will not leave bills to our children and our grandchildren. We will leave blessings behind. And we can start a generational blessing. Today it might mean you have to get a pizza and microwave it as opposed to going out.

6.     They must have shared values, be family oriented, and exercise healthy lifestyles. Amos 3:3 says 3Can two walk together, except they be agreed? – Some people date people and don’t ask the tough questions such as:

a.     What is this person’s value system? Genesis 2:24 says 24Therefore shall a man leave his father and his mother, and shall cleave unto his wife: and they shall be one flesh. –  Are they a Momma’s boy or Daddy’s girl? Look over their family and it will give you an idea of what their values are.

b.     What are your values as it relates to healthy life style? 1 Corinthians 6:19-20 says 19What? know ye not that your body is the temple of the Holy Ghost which is in you, which ye have of God, and ye are not your own?  20For ye are bought with a price: therefore glorify God in your body, and in your spirit, which are God’s. –  Do they eat right or take care of themselves? Do they smoke weed all day? Do they order bathroom salt?

7.     They have cohesive communication – Can we sit down and talk or communicate? Proverbs 16:24 says 24Pleasant words are as an honeycomb, sweet to the soul, and health to the bones., Proverbs 25:11 says 11A word fitly spoken is like apples of gold in pictures of silver. , Proverbs 27:6 says 6Faithful are the wounds of a friend; but the kisses of an enemy are deceitful., Proverbs 27:15 says 15A continual dropping in a very rainy day and a contentious woman are alike. Proverbs 15:1 says 1A soft answer turneth away wrath: but grievous words stir up anger. -.

It is important to understand the power of communication. You must:

a.     Be a ready listener and don’t answer until the other person has finished talking

b.     Be slow to speak. Think first. Don’t be hasty in your words.

c.     Speak the truth always, but do it in love. Do not exaggerate.

d.     Don’t use silence to frustrate your mate. Explain why you are hesitant to talk at this particular time.

e.     Do not quarrel. It is possible to disagree without quarreling.

f.      Do not respond in anger. Use a soft and kind response.

g.     When you are in the wrong, admit it and ask for forgiveness.

h.     Avoid nagging. No one will hear you if approach it with a nagging spirit.

i.      Don‘t blame or criticize the other. Instead, restore and encourage them. Try to under the other person’s opinion.

III.            They occupy mental and spiritual space. (You can picture yourself spending the rest of your life together).

1.     If you doubting it, then it probably wont happen. Genesis 2:23 says 23And Adam said, This is now bone of my bones, and flesh of my flesh: she shall be called Woman, because she was taken out of Man. – Adam carried Eve in his spirit. She was always with him. This is how you know a person is right for you. You carry this person in your spirit all the time.

2.      Proper application of masculinity and femininity-Women want men who have backbone. Ephesians 5:22-28 says 22Wives, submit yourselves unto your own husbands, as unto the Lord. 23For the husband is the head of the wife, even as Christ is the head of the church: and he is the saviour of the body. 24Therefore as the church is subject unto Christ, so let the wives be to their own husbands in every thing. 25Husbands, love your wives, even as Christ also loved the church, and gave himself for it; 26That he might sanctify and cleanse it with the washing of water by the word, 27That he might present it to himself a glorious church, not having spot, or wrinkle, or any such thing; but that it should be holy and without blemish.28So ought men to love their wives as their own bodies. He that loveth his wife loveth himself. -. Men want women who exude their femininity. Make some decisions. A man wants a woman that when she steps out, it makes him proud. Femininity is such a gift from God, the devil tries to steal it and give it some men.

3.     Must have transparency and truth – You got to get to a point. Genesis 2:25 says 25And they were both naked, the man and his wife, and were not ashamed. – They were naked and not ashamed. If you can’t trust your mate, then there is no way you can have a good relationship. We do realize that trust has to be earned, but over a period of time, there ought to be some trust developed. The more you invest, the more you should have. You must be willing to give. There should be transparency and trusting. Ex- The problem is, when most people get together, their representative shows up. It’s never the real person that shows up. Give it to the person up front and not on the back end.

4.     They are selfless in their expressions of love- They love without expectations. Song of Solomon 2:3-6 says 3As the apple tree among the trees of the wood, so is my beloved among the sons. I sat down under his shadow with great delight, and his fruit was sweet to my taste. 4He brought me to the banqueting house, and his banner over me was love. 5Stay me with flagons, comfort me with apples: for I am sick of love. 6His left hand is under my head, and his right hand doth embrace me.

a.     Verse 3 says they should overcome me.

b.     Verse 3b says, we are fulfilled under this covering.

c.     Verse 4 says love took me to buffet and said you can have what you want. Everyone knew I was in a relationship, because it was all on me. The joy of the relationship was on them. You ought to look like joy when you are in a proper relationship.

d.     Verse 5 says Im being loved so much, I’m getting sick. In other words, I am so loved, I am spoiled.

e.     Verse 6 says Love wouldn’t let me go. What love really does is say, “I got you, regardless of circumstances, I won’t let you go”.

5.     Everyone wants to know if they mate got them. If I make a mistake, do you have me? When the preacher asks you if you agree to the vows, there want be a gun to your head? Be sure you really find that person that no matter what, “has your back”

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How do you know Part I, Bible Study 2.2.11

Posted on February 22, 2011 by growintheword

How do you know Part I

How do you know if you are not over the past?

Synopsis Bible study 2/2/11

 

It is important to know, a lot of us have become captive to our past. In fact, what causes most relationships to fail is not dealing with the past. The question is how do you know you are not over your past? The answer is your inability to identify emotional wounds. In other words, you walking around hurt and don’t even realize it.

This is what it looks like.

a.     Inner rawness – This is a sense of hurt that does not go away.

b.     Irritability – This is where you become irritated with others even when they are not doing anything wrong.

c.     Little or no tolerance – This is having low patience with others.

d.     Feelings always rising up – This is hate, anger, and resentment that keep on rising up. Ex- A person might not call you at the appropriate time and you just go off.

e.     Overly sensitive about an event in your past-Still lashing out over things that resemble the area you were hurt in. Ex-Leroy hurt you, so now you don’t like anybody named Leroy.

f.      Hard to forgive – This makes it difficult for you to love.

g.     Hard to feel loved – You are surrounded by people who love you, but you push them away.

h.     Lashing out -Inner wounds are festered and it makes it easy to lash out. That particular area is still sensitive.

i.      Feeling of anger toward God – Now your vertical relationship is affected.

j.      Self-hate -If you keep getting hurt; you think something must be wrong with you.

k.     Easily frustrated -Angry even with your simple everyday chores.

l.      Escapism – Start getting into other things to escape your reality. This is how addictions come into our lives.

m.   Cutting– Person that ends up causing harm to themselves.

n.     Retaliation urges – Hate builds up anger and resentment that makes you want to get even.

o.     Irresponsible behavior -Since you have been hurt, you do what you want to do. This is a Moral compass effect.

p.     Irrational expectations of others -Now your expectations are so high as result of your hurt, you can’t possible find anyone.

q.     Perfectionism -You want others to be perfect as a result of your hurt. This can make you end up by yourself.

r.     Feelings of hopelessness – You feel like, “what’s the use.”

s.     Drive-ness-You can be driven to something you think causes happiness, but it might not be purpose driven.

t. Obsessive compulsive disorder. – You are out of control. You have excessive behavior. Put them in their career and they will knock it out of the park, but socially that can’t function.

u.     Hostility towards God, yourself, and others – Angry man syndrome. We have all gone through seasons where we were angry with others.

I.                   Be honest with yourself?

Questions:

1.     Who is it that you hate or blame? Why can’t you move forward?

2.     What did they do to you? What did they do to you that it takes this long to get over?

 

3.     What things have you done, that you deeply regret? You have to consider that you had some role in it.  All of this is about baggage.

4.     Is there anything in your past that you feel excessively embarrassed or ashamed of? Write it down and examine it.

II.                Keys to dealing with healing

Sorrow deals with pain or inflictions. Isaiah 53:4-5 says 4Surely he hath borne our griefs, and carried our sorrows: yet we did esteem him stricken, smitten of God, and afflicted. 5But he was wounded for our transgressions, he was bruised for our iniquities: the chastisement of our peace was upon him; and with his stripes we are healed. – Christ came to take away the pain and afflictions that happen in our life.

1.     If you are not honest about where you are hurting, then the blood can’t be applied to your situation. Why is this? 1 Peter 5:7 says 7Casting all your care upon him; for he careth for you. – Once identifying it, then I can release it to him that can do something with it. You think you can manage it, but you can’t. There is a reason we can’t go on. We are filtering everything through the lens of that pain we are carrying. How unfair is that to have to know a person through their pain?

2.     Learn to be thankful for what God has done for your life. No matter what has happened in our past, this day is a present. God took our mess, gave us a blank slate, and allowed us to start over. Learn at that moment to pause and not worry about what has happened to you and thank him for what he has done.

3.     The reason people can’t go on is they are tormented by their past issues and therefore are not at peace. Colossians 3:15 says 15And let the peace of God rule in your hearts, to the which also ye are called in one body; and be ye thankful.-  If you are not at peace, God is not the author of confusion. Everywhere you go you will cause chaos.

4.      As a result of you not knowing God and giving him glory, you allow vain imaginations to interrupt your life. Romans 1:21 says 21Because that, when they knew God, they glorified him not as God, neither were thankful; but became vain in their imaginations, and their foolish heart was darkened.- This is like living looking in the rear view mirror. Ever tried to drive forward while looking back?

5.     Are your pro-focused or solution focused? You can’t experience moving forward for worrying about what happened in the past. Get to a position where you stop listening to the devil. The devil will keep speaking negative things in your ear. Ex- Satan says things like, “Who are you?” Or “”what makes you think that applies to you?” Remember the Devil tries to isolate you so he can interrogate you.

6.     You have to get to a point where you stop blaming the person that done you wrong. Your reaction is what is keeping you in bondage, not what was done to you. Once you have dealt with this, you know that you can’t continue to react to this. The person that hurt us has moved on with their lives and we are still prisoners, because we won’t let go. Ex- Marriages are stifled because of some of these comparative issues.

7.     Lots of people bottle up their pain. These are the scariest type of people. There are implosive, not explosive. Players be careful. One day you may get this person and end up on Breaking News. This is why it is important to have accountability people. In some areas, it is good to be private. This is ok. You can’t go to everybody about everything. Those that are implosive need to know that it will affect your life eventually. James 5:16 says 16Confess your faults one to another, and pray one for another, that ye may be healed. The effectual fervent prayer of a righteous man availeth much.-You got to have someone in your life that you can release this stuff to. This is why you have Intercessors, Pastors, and Counselors. Think about it like having a balloon filled with air. You want to release it a little at a time. You don’t want all the air to come at once causing the balloon to go everywhere and fly away. Ex- Bishop says he has this radio personality who is not only a friend; he is a comedian as well. Bishop says when he needs a release he will call and say he just needs about 15mins to laugh. The laughter allows him to have a release. We all need a “wheew moment”  If you don’t’ have people in your life that you can release to, ask to lord to send someone in your life.

III.             Steps to get past some stuff or healing

1.     You got to be willing to say “I got to get past some stuff.” Psalm 147:3 says 3He healeth the broken in heart, and bindeth up their wounds.- Relationships can break your heart. Ever had your heart broke?

2.      How do you release those that hurt you into the hands of Jesus? 1 Peter 5:7 says 7Casting all your care upon him; for he careth for you. – If you keep hanging on to the pain, it keeps you from being healed. Luke 4:18 says 18The Spirit of the Lord is upon me, because he hath anointed me to preach the gospel to the poor; he hath sent me to heal the brokenhearted, to preach deliverance to the captives, and recovering of sight to the blind, to set at liberty them that are bruised, – If you know about a bruise, it can hurt worse than a wound does sometimes. Matthew 11:28-30 says 28Come unto me, all ye that labour and are heavy laden, and I will give you rest. 29Take my yoke upon you, and learn of me; for I am meek and lowly in heart: and ye shall find rest unto your souls. 30For my yoke is easy, and my burden is light. – A yoke is that which controls. You have the yoke of the past directing your life. Even though you are on assignment, you are being controlled by your past. God’s yoke is not like this. All this pain is making people make assumptions about you that are not true. There are people that have come and met you, because they didn’t have time to get to know you. Turn this pain over to God and know that you need to move forward.

3.     Realize the love of God for you. This will help you open up and receive healing. Romans 8:32 says 32He that spared not his own Son, but delivered him up for us all, how shall he not with him also freely give us all things?- God says he has so many wonderful things that he wants to do for us. Romans 5:8 says 8But God commendeth his love toward us, in that, while we were yet sinners, Christ died for us.- While we was still in the world doing stuff, God still loved us. John 17:23 says 23I in them, and thou in me, that they may be made perfect in one; and that the world may know that thou hast sent me, and hast loved them, as thou hast loved me. – Let them know what love the Lord has to them Jesus says.

4.     When we understand how much he loves us, it becomes a model in which we use to measure love.  Ephesians 3:17-19 says 17That Christ may dwell in your hearts by faith; that ye, being rooted and grounded in love, 18May be able to comprehend with all saints what is the breadth, and length, and depth, and height; 19And to know the love of Christ, which passeth knowledge, that ye might be filled with all the fulness of God. – A lot of the pain of our past, we can acknowledge that we had some responsibility in it. If you think of how God loves you, use this to measure how much somebody should love you and how you should love others. Ex- Little girls grow up looking for someone to love her the way her Dad loves her.

5.      Realize Gods will for you mind. 2 Timothy 1:7 says 7For God hath not given us the spirit of fear; but of power, and of love, and of a sound mind.

6.     Example of fears

Psalm 23:3 says3He restoreth my soul: he leadeth me in the paths of righteousness for his name’s sake. Lets look at verses 1 and 2 first. The Psalm 23:1-2 says 1The LORD is my shepherd; I shall not want. 2He maketh me to lie down in green pastures: he leadeth me beside the still waters. – We shared how important it is to know how much God loves you and who he is in our lives. We are sheep and the shepherd protects sheep from danger. Sheep are vulnerable. Though precious, and valuable, they are vulnerable. Like sheep, without the protection of the shepherd, we are subject to attack from the wolf, coyotes, and the mountain lions. There was an Author sometime ago that talked about the threats of the sheep. Some of them are:

a.     The mountain lion was master of intimidating sheep. Their roar seemed like 1000 mountain lions and it intimidated the sheep so bad, they couldn’t move. Ex- This is like the guy who says, “I know you ain’t trying to leave me.” Or “You know I love you to death.”

b.     The Wolf -Master of deception. Beware of wolves in sheep’s clothing. They will come to church with you, but eventually the nature of the wolf will come out.

c.     The Coyote -Master of setting traps. Remember the RoadRunner show that had the coyote that would set the ACME traps. What relationships have you been in that ended up being just a big trap. They just wanted something. The Lord says he understands you will be under these attacks and therefore he shepherds us. David says I shall not want. Someone that is shepherded by God is not needy. Without a proper alignment and relationship with God, you go through life vulnerable. When you know who you are in him, you shall not want. God says now there is a season called time out. You won’t volunteer, because when you have been wounded, you run from relationship to relationship. This run to run relationship manifests in different ways such as:

a.     “We are just kicking it.”

b.     “This is my partner.”

c.     “This is my boo” and there are more…

Because we keep doing this, the Lord says we are not ready yet, so God says he has to make us lie down in green pastures (verse 2). He has to fix it so he can put a monkey wrench in your relationship programs. When the Lord makes you sit down, there is a social stigma tied to it. People wonder why at your age you still aren’t dating. This stigma causes people to move to please a nation that is not spiritual. If we sit down like God wants, he restores us! He will restore the years the locust have eaten up. You don’t know how, because there should have been wounds, but he restores us. He won’t leave you there. He will lead you through the paths of righteousness (verse 3). The next person that you meet and the next relationship you are will be right, because it will be in God’s will. If he leads us, it won’t be wrong. He will navigate circumstances to work on your behalf and he will allow you and somebody else to cross paths. It will be a providential hookup and it will be perfect. You will be two restored people set up to compliment each other.

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