Part 2: Understanding the Hurt and Hindrances in Your Own House, 08.16.18

Series Title: Overcoming Toxic Relationships

Part 2: Understanding the Hurt and Hindrances in Your Own House

Joseph and His Brothers

Synopsis of Bible Study 08/08/18

Genesis 50:20 says  “20 But as for you, you meant evil against me; but God meant it for good, in order to bring it about as it is this day, to save many people alive.”

I.          Introduction

  1. Relationship hurt is one of the most heartbreaking things you can ever experience in life. The pain of relationships can introduce you to a level of hurt beyond your human comprehension. You find yourself asking the following questions:
    1. “Why did they do it?”
    2. “Why me?”
    3. “What is it about me that causes them to do this to me?”
    4. “Is there something wrong with me?”
    5. “Why now?”
  2. There’s nothing more painful than receiving a hurt from your own house. Even if you try and distance yourselves from the family member, your path has to still cross at times. At the very least, you have to attend family functions.
  3. There is a lot of brokenness found in family hurt.
    1. Psalm 34:18 (NKJV) says 18 The Lord is near to those who have a broken heart, And saves such as [a]have a contrite spirit. – God is right there and has a remedy for you. God does not want you to stay in that place that you are.
  4. Cutting ties with your families members is not impossible nor is it against biblical principles.
    1. In the bible, Leban and Jacob went their separate ways.
      1. Genesis 31:49 (NKJV) 49 also Mizpah,[a] because he said, “May the Lord watch between you and me when we are absent one from another. –

II.          The Cost of Favor

A.    The coat of anointing is attractive and costly

  1. Joseph’s father gave him a coat of many colors. This coat represented Joseph’s anointing. The coat of anointing is attractive, but it is
    1. Genesis 37:1-3 (NKJV) 37 Now Jacob dwelt in the land where his father was a [a]stranger, in the land of Canaan. 2 This is the history of Jacob. Joseph, being seventeen years old, was feeding the flock with his brothers. And the lad was with the sons of Bilhah and the sons of Zilpah, his father’s wives; and Joseph brought a bad report of them to his father. 3 Now Israel loved Joseph more than all his children, because he was the son of his old age. Also he made him a tunic of many colors.- As a father, Jacob had love for all of his kids, but he saw something special inside o Joseph.
  2. The coat he gave Joseph was to mark the favor that rested upon him. Whether you know it or not, you have a coat on you, when favor/anointing is upon you.
    1. When you walk in a new space and people don’t like you, it is because of the coat that is on you.
    2. You must know that you must wear your coat.
  3. Often people miss that you are more than the coat that they see on you. Psalm 90:17 (NKJV) 17 And let the beauty of the Lord our God be upon us, And establish the work of our hands for us; Yes, establish the work of our hands
    1. People often look at what is on you externally and they think if they take it, it takes the anointing off of you. This is not true. When favor is on you, it’s on you.

B.     Those closest to you will not always celebrate your dreams

  1. In ancient times, dreams were often associated with messages from deities. Joseph was a dreamer and he had dreams that would give insight to the future of Israel; however, his dreams were not welcomed by his brothers.
    1. Joseph was a dreamer. His dreams wasn’t welcomed by his brothers. This made them hate him even more.
  2. Joseph had a problem. He was a dreamer.
    1. Dream one – The first dream was the sheaves. They bowed down. Genesis 37:6-8 (NKJV) 6 So he said to them, “Please hear this dream which I have dreamed: 7 There we were, binding sheaves in the field. Then behold, my sheaf arose and also stood upright; and indeed your sheaves stood all around and bowed down to my sheaf.” 8 And his brothers said to him, “Shall you indeed reign over us? Or shall you indeed have dominion over us?” So they hated him even more for his dreams and for his words. – Joseph told his brothers that they would have to bow down to him one day. They hated him for this.
    2. Dream twoGenesis 37:9-11 (NKJV) 9 Then he dreamed still another dream and told it to his brothers, and said, “Look, I have dreamed another dream. And this time, the sun, the moon, and the eleven stars bowed down to me.” 10 So he told it to his father and his brothers; and his father rebuked him and said to him, “What is this dream that you have dreamed? Shall your mother and I and your brothers indeed come to bow down to the earth before you?” 11 And his brothers envied him, but his father kept the matter in mind.– In Joseph’s dream, the moon and stars bowed down to him. This meant that even Joseph’s parents would have to bow to him. His father rebuked him for this dream, but he kept the matter in his mind. Joseph’s brothers hated him even more for this dream.
  3. You have to keep your dreams to yourselves sometimes.
    1. The more you tell a hater about your dreams, the more they envy you, because it reminds them of what they are not doing.
  4. Some people don’t have the capacity to share your dreams. You got to know who to share your dreams with and when to share them.
  5. Don’t underestimate the level of pain your family can cause you. The pain from your own house is deep, but God can still heal it.

III.          The conflict with Family

A.    Don’t’ underestimate the level of pain your family can cause you.

  1. Psalm 147:3 (NKJV) 3 He heals the brokenhearted And binds up their [a]wounds.- The Binding of wounds. This doesn’t mean God will immediately erase all the pain in you. God heals the brokenhearted And binds up their [a]wounds- Let’s look at the first part, the broken hearted. Ex-Ever broke a bone? Just like the doctor, God gives you a cast to keep the broken place still, so that it will heal properly.
    1. God needs you to be still so you can heal properly. If we keep running all over the place while we are broken, just like the broken bone, we might heal, but heal crooked.
  2. The stuff in your family is so deep, you might be healed, but you’ve got to be healed properly.
  3. You’ve got to be honest about your hurts.

Reasons family hurt can be so painful:

  1. We think our family member will be here unconditionally. We expect people in the street to do us wrong, but we never expect it from family.
  2. Shared history gives our siblings an unending supply of embarrassing moments in our childhood. Some people can tease you and tease you causing more and more hurt.
  3. Family members tend to depend on each other for support, advice, and finance, but they never help you.
  4. We tend to distance ourselves less from family members when they hurt us compared to our friends.

Common aspects of hurtful family environments

  1. Aggression – If I got to fight at home and work too, then that’s too much fighting.
  2. Lack of affection – Stop marrying people and afterwards, shutting down the shop.
    1. If a man or women leaves for work and they are full, they are less likely to stop by McDonalds, Krystals, or Wendys on the way. (You’ll catch this later on…)
  3. Neglect – Includes not ignoring the other. Even your children, don’t need to be neglected. If you don’t pay attention to you loved one, they will get attention somewhere else. There is someone always waiting for an opportunity to step in.
  4. Violence – You have the responsibility to report abuse in your house.

B.     Family hurt may be damaging to your heart, but it won’t delay God’s plan

  1. Joseph was hurt by his brothers, but it did not hinder God’s plan for him.
    1. Romans 8:28 (NKJV) says 28 And we know that all things work together for good to those who love God, to those who are the called according to His purpose.- Sometimes it can be hard to deal with family hurt.
    2. Remember 2 Corinthians 4:8-9 (NKJV) says 8 We are hard-pressed on every side, yet not crushed; we are perplexed, but not in despair; 9 persecuted, but not forsaken; struck down, but not destroyed—

IV.          The Conviction of Faith

A.    God will call you to help the ones who hated you

  1. The fact that you are here today is evidence that God is at work in your life.
    1. Job 16:6 (NKJV) 6 “Though I speak, my grief is not relieved; And if I remain silent, how am I eased?- We need to notice that after suffering hurt that was supposed to hinder him, Joseph kept his integrity. You have to continue being yourself, even though you are hurt.
  2. After many years, Joseph had to face his brothers again. The same brothers that tried to harm him, had to later face him.
    1. Years later, Pharaoh asked Joseph to interpret his dreams. When Joseph interpreted Pharaoh’s dream, Joseph told him that it meant that there would be 7 yrs of famine and then 7 yrs of plenty.
    2. Joseph was elevated after interpreting the dream. During the 7 yrs of plenty, bread was stored. When the famine came, people had to come and see Joseph to get food.
    3. During the famine, guess who had to come and get food from Joseph? You guessed it. Joseph’s brothers had to come to him for the
    4. Jacob sent Joseph’s brothers to Egypt to get bread, not knowing who was handing it out?
      1. Matthew 5:44 (NKJV) says 44 [a]But I say to you, love your enemies, bless those who curse you, do good to those who hate you, and pray for those who spitefully use you and persecute you,– We can’t come down from what God’s words says. Joseph was second in power to Pharaoh. You don’t use your place of elevation for a moment of retaliation.

B.     You don’t get to choose who receives the bread of blessing

  1. You can prevent somebody from getting a blessing, just because of what they have done to you.
    1. Hebrews 10:30 (NKJV) 30 For we know Him who said, “Vengeance is Mine, I will repay,” [a]says the Lord. And again, “The Lord will judge His people.”,
    2. Luke 6:27-28 (NKJV) 27 “But I say to you who hear: Love your enemies, do good to those who hate you, 28 bless those who curse you, and pray for those who spitefully use you.
    3. Proverbs 25:21-22 (NKJV) 21 If your enemy is hungry, give him bread to eat; And if he is thirsty, give him water to drink; 22 For so you will heap coals of fire on his head, And the Lord will reward you., – Go on a bless them that have done you wrong!

V.          Conclusion

  1. You make them feel worse, because of your kindness. You do not have to retaliate.

 

  1. When you see Joseph elevated, you can only imagine what Joseph was thinking when he saw them.
    1. Psalm 23:5 (NKJV) 5 You prepare a table before me in the presence of my enemies; You anoint my head with oil; My cup runs over.- Look at Joseph’s elevation. What do you do, when your own family who did you wrong, come to a place where they have to beg for your help?
  2. Our response should always be this. Genesis 50:19-20 (NKJV) 19 Joseph said to them, “Do not be afraid, for am I in the place of God? 20 But as for you, you meant evil against me; but God meant it for good, in order to bring it about as it is this day, to save many people alive. – In other words, you meant evil against me, but God meant it for my good. Stop trying to get even and watch how God will bless you.
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Help with Funeral

My sister-n-law, Jamie McMurry, passed away suddenedly  Monday July 9th 2018. This was totally unexpected. She has two children ages 13 and 5.

We were informed that she did not have a Life  Insurance Policy.  We need your help with funeral expenses.  Any donation is greatly appreciated and will be given to Strawther and White Funeral.

If you are not comfortable donating to GoFundMe Accounts, then you can call Strawther & White Funeral Home directly for alternative ways to donate. –strawtherfh@gmail.com

615-230-0810

Please mention Grow In the Word Ministry when you donate.

Thanks and God bless you for your help.

Jamie Mcmurry Funeral Fund https://www.gofundme.com/jamie-mcmurry-funeral-fund?pc=tw_dn_cpgnsharemore_r&rcid=r01-153168417114-16578213754e4aea

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Taking Care of You: , Bible Study 06/20/18

 

Dealing with Mental, Physical, and Emotional Health and Wellness

Synopsis of Bible Study June 20, 2018

Delivered by Bishop Joseph W. Walker, III, DMin.

www.mtzionnashville.org

3 John 2 says, “2 Beloved, I pray that you may prosper in all things and be in health, just as your soul prospers.”

I.          Introduction

  1. Many of us pour ourselves into other people so much, we end up neglecting ourselves. This is noble and admirable, but at some point, you have to access your needs and pour back into yourself.
  2. Audre Lorde wrote “Caring for myself is not self-indulgence, it is self-preservation.” The point is, we want you to live.
  3. Self-care is important. You are not taking care of yourself just for you, it’s also for the people that depend on you.
  4. Genesis 2:2-3 (NKJV) says 2 And on the seventh day God ended His work which He had done, and He rested on the seventh day from all His work which He had done. 3 Then God blessed the seventh day and sanctified it, because in it He rested from all His work which God had created and made.- God thought enough of his work that He Himself, took some rest. If God took time to rest, so should we.
  5. Music works in harmony. There are a lot of notes and chords written down, but really, there is no music or rhythm without a rest (which is a pause in the music) being used throughout the composed music.

Ex1.

 

Ex2.

 

  1. A lot of time we mask issues behind being busy. Nobody drives a vehicle and turns the corner, without atleast touching the brake. They at least tap the brake.
  2. Some people go through life without ever pausing. When God created everything, He even stopped to celebrate himself. He stopped and looked and said, “It was good”. Know that it is ok to celebrate yourself.
  3. It’s really about your mentality (your mind). You have to learn to take control of your thoughts.

II.          Be Transformed in Your Thinking

A.    You got to take control of your thoughts.

  1. 2 Corinthians 10:5 (KJV) 5 Casting down imaginations, and every high thing that exalteth itself against the knowledge of God, and bringing into captivity every thought to the obedience of Christ; – Images/imaginations are pictures. Taking control of your thoughts is about taking control over what you are thinking in your life.
  2. For example, if you want to get rid of scary thoughts, then stop watching scary movies.
  3. Scary movies are the things we allow to enter our mind that are not of God. Scary movies also referred to as images or imaginations, get into your mind through your gates. These gates are your eye gates, your ear gates, or your ear gates. Then the images stack up and clutter your mind. As a result of the stacking of these images, you produce ungodly thoughts.
  4. The Bible says that any man born of a woman is but a few days of trouble. This means we are born slanted towards trouble. If we are slanted towards trouble, then it is guaranteed that trouble will come our way.
  5. Some people aren’t able to be creative anymore, because they have filled their minds up with clutter.
  6. Three ways to take your thoughts captive:
  7. Accept responsibility for your thoughts. Philippians 4:8 (NKJV) says 8 Finally, brethren, whatever things are true, whatever things are noble, whatever things are just, whatever things are pure, whatever things are lovely, whatever things are of good report, if there is any virtue and if there is anything praiseworthy—meditate on these things.– You have a choice to respond positivity or negatively. One bad event can ruin your whole day if you let it.
  8. Your mind not just your behavior, must change. You can change addresses and still be in the same mindset you are . Romans 12:2 (NKJV) says 2 And do not be conformed to this world, but be transformed by the renewing of your mind, that you may prove what is that good and acceptable and perfect will of God.
  9. Choose to focus your thoughts on the right things. Colossians 3:2 (NKJV) says 2 Set your mind on things above, not on things on the earth. You got the right not to want negative stuff around you.

B.     Remain positive by surrounding yourself with positivity.

  1. 1 Thessalonians 5:16-18 (NKJV) 16 Rejoice always, 17 pray without ceasing, 18 in everything give thanks; for this is the will of God in Christ Jesus for you.- Have an environment around you that is so positive. This throws people off guard!
  2. Ephesians 4:29 (NKJV) says 29 Let no corrupt word proceed out of your mouth, but what is good for necessary [a]edification, that it may impart grace to the hearers.- What you release is what you will attract.
  3. Systematic theology – God has a system. His word doesn’t return to him void. It accomplishes what he sent it to do. Even when God sent the Word in flesh, it returned back to him. Jesus, the Word is sitting at the right hand of Jesus right today. In like manner, when you send out a word, know that it is coming back to you.
  4. The words you speak, create a greenhouse in your life. When you release the word, it comes back to you as a harvest. This is the reason the bible says so much about your mind and guarding your tongue.
  5. Mental health is so important. You have to make sure that you keep your head together. What you listen to, what you watch, and what you say, all contribute to what your mind thinks.

III.          Be Trained with the Care of Your Body

A.    Treat your body like a temple

  1. 1 Corinthians 6:19 (NKJV) says 19 Or do you not know that your body is the temple of the Holy Spirit who is in you, whom you have from God, and you are not your own?-Your body is a housing of the essence of who you are and the God in you. The Holy Spirit, God in you, lives inside your body. God was above us, then he was with us (in the form of Jesus), and now God is in you (In the form of the Holy Ghost). We can tell how you value the essence of who you are, simply by looking at how you treat your temple.
  2. Would you intentionally allow rodents and filth inside the baby’s crib? No, because you value your baby’s life. If you were to get a new car and you don’t smoke, would you allow somebody to smoke inside it? No, because you value your car. Strangely, there are some people who value their car more than they value their temples.
  3. You can’t ask the Lord to enlarge your territory if you don’t have the health to work it. The majority of people that pastor today are either morbidly obese or chronically ill. We are digging our graves with a fork.
  4. What healthy habits do you practice daily?

Grade yourself with a grade of A-F on the following questions.

  1. Stay hydrated
  2. Get enough sleep daily
  3. Ge adequate down time/ rest
  4. Learn to say no
  5. Eat more meals in a relaxed state
  6. Find more ways to laugh
  7. Spend more time in nature
  8. Get daily light exposure
  9. Move your body daily with exercise
  10. Limit and reduce how much sugar your consume
  11. Learn to manage overall stress
  12. Exercise your mind
  13. Learn a mediation technique that works for you
  14. Let go of unrealistic expectations.
  15. Find how to make yourself happy

 

Things to think about

  1. What is preventing me from leading a healthier life?
  2. What life adjustments are needed for me to include healthy habits into my life?
  3. Which of the healthy habits listed do I need the most in my life.

B.     Your body requires intentional care

 

  1. Maintenance is so much cheaper than repairs.
  2. God gave an amazing diet. He fed it to the Children of Israel when they were in the wilderness. He gave them Manna in day, which is carbs and He gave them meat at night, which is protein.
  3. It’s important to watch you emotional health too. This is your heart. The stuff in your heart can make your head go left. Think about it. Nobody ever thought they would be stalker. It just kind of happened. Noone ever thought they would be one to key a car, but it happened!

IV.          Be Transparent about Your Emotional Wellness

A.    Being truthful about your heart leads to healing

  1. If don’t deal with your emotions, you can become implosive.
  2. How you know?
  3. Arrive at personal choices and decisions– not based on emotions.
  4. Live and work independently. A person that has their emotional wellness in check, is not needy or clingy.
  5. Form independent relationships with others. – Some of the closet friends I have, I don’t call every day.
  6. Take on challenges. – People that are not emotionally well, are withdrawn.
  7. Mange your life in personally rewarding yourself- You can’t just go to work and not stop to enjoy your life. Nothing works without reward.
  8. John 10:10 (NKJV) 10 The thief does not come except to steal, and to kill, and to destroy. I have come that they may have life, and that they may have it more abundantly.– God wants you to prosper in your health and in your mind.

 

B.     Nothing is done without spiritual health

  1. Psalm 116 New King James Version (NKJV)

Thanksgiving for Deliverance from Death

 

116 I love the Lord, because He has heard My voice and my supplications. 2 Because He has inclined His ear to me, Therefore I will call upon Him as long as I live.

3 The [a]pains of death surrounded me, And the [b]pangs of Sheol [c]laid hold of me; I found trouble and sorrow. 4 Then I called upon the name of the Lord: “O Lord, I implore You, deliver my soul!”

5 Gracious is the Lord, and righteous; Yes, our God is merciful. 6 The Lord preserves the simple; I was brought low, and He saved me. 7 Return to your rest, O my soul, For the Lord has dealt bountifully with you.

8 For You have delivered my soul from death, My eyes from tears, And my feet from falling. 9 I will walk before the Lord In the land of the living. 10 I believed, therefore I spoke, “I am greatly afflicted.” 11 I said in my haste, “All men are liars.”

12 What shall I render to the Lord For all His benefits toward me? 13 I will take up the cup of salvation, And call upon the name of the Lord. 14 I will pay my vows to the Lord Now in the presence of all His people.

15 Precious in the sight of the Lord Is the death of His saints.

16 O Lord, truly I am Your servant; I am Your servant, the son of Your maidservant; You have loosed my bonds. 17 I will offer to You the sacrifice of thanksgiving, And will call upon the name of the Lord.

18 I will pay my vows to the Lord Now in the presence of all His people, 19 In the courts of the Lord’s house, In the midst of you, O Jerusalem.

[d]Praise the Lord!

 

 Lessons from Psalm 116:

  • v. 1 Believe in Him.
  • v. 2 Cry out to Him.
  • v. 9 Follow Him.
  • v. 13 Drink Him.
  • v. 14 Obey Him.
  • v. 16 Serve Him.
  • v. 17 Thank Him.
  • v. 18–19 Live for Him.

 

I see myself like a pitcher. Every day I show up, there are cups waiting for me to pour into them. The more cups you have, the more I have to be under the fountain, so that I may pour out. The bigger your request, the more you have to stay under the fountain.

If you have a lot of cups to fill, then you have to continuously be under the foundation.

You got to get to place where you allow God to fill you up. There are times you get tired and want to leave the fountain, but you still pour out.

Sometimes you are only operating on pure condensation because you are good at what you do. This means that you are functioning, but you are not full. So you go back to the fountain to be filled up, so that you are not counterfeit.

Lots of people try to function without the fountain, but you just can’t. We’re able to do what we do, because God constantly fills us up.

God wants you to operate at the optimal level all the time. Get your body together, and get your heart right, allow yourself to be so spiritually focused, that you will come to get a word, no matter who is delivering it. Make sure you stay under the fountain.

 

 

E

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How to Release Bitterness, Bible Study 06/06/18

Synopsis of Bible Study June 6, 2018

Delivered by Bishop Joseph W. Walker, III, DMin.

I.          Introduction

  1. Ephesians 4:31-32 (NKJV) 31 Let all bitterness, wrath, anger, [a]clamor, and evil speaking be put away from you, with all malice. 32 And be kind to one another, tenderhearted, forgiving one another, even as God in Christ forgave you. –
  2. There has to be consequences going forward. How many people can say they have been a recipient of God’s forgiveness?
  3. Bitterness can go undetected for years. This will cause you to have issues within your spirit. Martin Luther King Jr. said, “Never succumb to the temptation of bitterness.”
  4. Bitterness limits what God will do with you and through you.
  5. Bitterness can cause you to harbor resentment.
    1. When you think about the pain and what happened in your life, you have to reconcile it with this.
    2. 37:1-2 (NKJV) says 37 Do not fret because of evildoers, Nor be envious of the workers of iniquity. 2 For they shall soon be cut down like the grass, And wither as the green herb. – Stop worrying about who did you wrong. Don’t trip over those people who constantly do you wrong either. God will treat them like grass. When the time is right, He will cut them down.
    3. You have to let God be God and you be you.

II.          The Root of bitterness

A.    How Does Bitterness Begin?

  1. It begins with an offense. Proverbs 18:19 (NKJV) 19 A brother offended is harder to win than a strong city, And contentions are like the bars of a castle. – Bitterness is a result of unresolved issues. What started as a small infraction grew and eventually turned into bitterness.
  2. Get in your spirit, what or whom has offended you. Matthew 18:15-17 (NKJV) 15 “Moreover if your brother sins against you, go and tell him his fault between you and him alone. If he hears you, you have gained your brother. 16 But if he will not hear, take with you one or two more, that ‘by the mouth of two or three witnesses every word may be established.’ 17 And if he refuses to hear them, tell it to the church. But if he refuses even to hear the church, let him be to you like a heathen and a tax collector.-
    1. (Verse 15) -If someone offends you, don’t let it fester. You are supposed to go to them and try and work it out. You don’t email them or text them. You go to them in person. Explain what they did and how it affected you. Often they will appreciate that you came to them.
    2. (Verse 16) – If going to them by yourself doesn’t work, then take someone with you the next time. Bring someone that can be a witness that you are on the up and up. Bring someone that isn’t interested in taking sides.
    3. (Verse 17) – If they still will not hear you, then tell the church. Go to the Deacons and Elders and let them mediate the situation between you. If they will not hear you after this, then wash your hands of the situation and move on. You might have to depart like Leban did in the following verse. Genesis 31:49 (NKJV) 49 also Mizpah,[a] because he said, “May the Lord watch between you and me when we are absent one from another.  .- You have to come to a place where you say, I did everything that I could in this situation.
    4. You got to learn to let people go and release the bitterness from them.
  3. Bitterness is not the starting point, it is the end result.

B. Stages of Bitterness:

The stages of bitterness are as follows:

  1. You become oversensitive to a verbal remarks, action, or lack of action.
  2. You develop hurt feelings easily.
  3. You display repulsive feelings toward a person at the thought or sight of them.
  4. You have frequent rehearsal of the hurt and pain. You always find a way to bring the situation up.
  5. Alienation of a person that wronged you. You don’t want to have anything to do with them.
  6. Verbal slander against the person that wronged you.
  7. You have a lack of obedience to God regarding those who do wrong against you. Matthew 5:44-45 (NKJV) says 44 [a]But I say to you, love your enemies, bless those who curse you, do good to those who hate you, and pray for those who spitefully use you and persecute you, 45 that you may be sons of your Father in heaven; for He makes His sun rise on the evil and on the good, and sends rain on the just and on the unjust.- Pray for those who have done you wrong. God doesn’t want you to wish bad things on anyone.
  8. You start becoming like the one you despise. A victim that doesn’t get help, becomes a Hebrews 12:15 (NKJV) 14 Pursue peace with all people, and holiness, without which no one will see the Lord: 15 looking carefully lest anyone fall short of the grace of God; lest any root of bitterness springing up cause trouble, and by this many become defiled; – It is at the root. The enemy is trying to get at the root. Think about your life as a seed. You anger keeps growing, and rooting, and branching, until it finally becomes bitterness.

III.          The Residue of Bitterness

A. Characteristics of a Bitterness

 

  1. Like a tree, the roots have grown into other people’s neighborhood. It starts impacting every area of your life.
  2. Bitterness is not always visible. The more time that passes, the harder it is to control. The offense is trying to control your actions.

 

  1. The following are characteristics of a person who is dealing with bitterness:
    1. Cares very little for the person he or she is bitter against.
    2. Often found to be very sensitive. They become very sensitive. They don’t even want to hear the name of the person they are bitter against.
    3. Can be ungrateful. Because they are so offended, they develop a spirt of entitlement, based on what they’ve gone through.
    4. Gives empty flattery and harsh criticism.
    5. Holds grudges and finds it difficult to forgive. People still hold grudges from stuff that happened in high school.
    6. Displaced stubbornness or a sulky attitude.
    7. Will help no one and complains sometimes, when asked for help.
    8. Experiences mood extremes. One day they’re on a high and one day they are low.

B. The Effects of Bitterness

“Bitterness does more harm to the vessel in which it is stored than the vessel from which it is poured.” -unknown

“Bitterness is like cancer. It eats upon the host.” – Maya Angelou

“Nothing consumes a man more quickly than the emotion of resentment.” – Friedrich Nietzsche

 

  1. What if you turn on a water hose and brown water comes out first. What does this symbolize? The answer is, you can be the most anointed Musician, Singer, or Preacher, but all the people will ever concentrate on is the brown in the water. The brown in the water is your People can’t get what they need from you, because the brown water (bitterness) is in the way.
  2. Bitterness can be a mental disorder. You can get in a vicious cycle over this. This causes you begin to feel devalued over and over again. As a result, you put your life on hold based on what was done to you. This is giving the offender authority over your life.
  3. *You will never experience release of bitterness, until you stop waiting on an apology. If you are waiting on them to apologize, then you are still carrying it around. Do you have time to hold your life up for that long?
  4. The hurt cannot bring you to a place of action. Nothing consumes a man more than resentment.
    1. Ephesians 4:26-27 (NKJV) 26 “Be angry, and do not sin”: do not let the sun go down on your wrath, 27 nor give [a]place to the devil.- God gives you permission to be angry, but don’t let the offense move you to action. Don’t sin as a result of your anger. The moment you do, you allow Satin to manipulate the moment.
    2. Hebrews 10:30 (NKJV) says 30 For we know Him who said, “Vengeance is Mine, I will repay,” [a]says the Lord. And again, “The Lord will judge His people.”- Let God deal with it. He will deal with it in His own way.
  5. Do not act in a way that is sinful. Some say they will never be a stalker, but every stalker never thought they would one day be a stalker. No car-scratcher ever thought they would one day scratch a car.

IV.          The Resolution of Bitterness

A.    Deal with Your Hurt

You got to deal with the hurt. Psalm 139:23-24 (NKJV) 23 Search me, O God, and know my heart; Try me, and know my anxieties; 24 And see if there is any wicked way in me, And lead me in the way everlasting.- Lord show me myself. We are good at camouflaging hurt behind religion. If you got chicken pox, we can put a suit on you and you will look good, but underneath, you still have chicken pox.

The Holy Spirit is the true Convictor and he will show you where you are in the process. He can make you face whatever you have been trying to avoid.

Your hurt can start producing hurt. You got to come to a place where you learn how to release people from your life. Learn how to forgive and live.

B.     Forgive and Live

“Bitterness imprisons life; love releases it. Bitterness paralyzes life; love empowers it. Bitterness sours life; love sweetens it. Bitterness sickens life; love heals it. Bitterness blinds life; love anoints its eyes.” -Harry Emerson Fosdick. the longer you hold on to bitterness, the longer it hold son to you. betterness  is a slow death. nothing will grow around you and you will corode from the inside out. you need to let it go.

V. Conclusion

  1. Proverbs 14:10 (NKJV) 10 The heart knows its own bitterness, And a stranger does not share its joy.-Each person knows his own sorrows and joys. To be free of bitterness, you got to just let it go.
  2. You have to come to a place where you see this as a sickness. If the doctor says you have cancer, they said they can get it. You can’t let it sit, because it could metastasize. You want the doctor to get it now.
  3. Bitterness is the same. You can get it now or you can let it fester. Psalm 51:12 (NKJV) 12 Restore to me the joy of Your salvation, And uphold me by Your generous Spirit.-The reason you don’t have joy and it is controlling your life is because you are letting bitterness control you.
  4. Today God is going to release you from your bitterness. You need to bring it to the altar.

 

 

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